Recognize the picture above? Yes, it is by William Blake. One of his most famous. But do you recognize it? Have you seen it yourself, in your mind’s eye? Or something very like it. If you have, keep reading. Because this vision that haunted William Blake is a typical migraine aura. Circular burst of light and distortion in the middle of the visual field. And if you see it, you know that something very unpleasant is coming. A tremendous need to flee, to lie down, close your eyes, get away from wherever you are, from whoever you are with, whatever you are doing. Maybe it is the screaming kids in the mall. Maybe it is the flickering artificial lights. Maybe it is the perfume of the worker in the next cubicle. That noise is starting to sound a lot like signal to your subconscious and your subconscious is reading the signal as Danger. Get out!
If you have migraines, you are always paying attention to everything that goes on around you—on point, is the phrase combat veterans use. You have heightened senses. You notice everything. Sometimes, you wish you could tune it all out. But once you acquire a state of heightened vigilance, your mind does not want to let it go. What if you need it again? What if the danger occurs again? Better to stay alert, always on the look out for the same shadow, the pattern of light, the same sound---
Migraines are incredibly common among certain population groups—in particular those of us of European origin. Migraine with aura is more common in women than in men in the civilian world. However, men in the military, particularly those with combat experience or PTSD also have an increased incidence of migraine headaches. Indeed, the U.S. military considers migraine a service related disability.
People with migraines with aura are likely to have sleep apnea, a condition in which people stop moving air in and out of their lungs when they sleep. Migrainers also suffer from insomnia and excessively light sleep—the last is an invaluable trait in a surgeon on call or on the battlefield but do you really want to wake up every time the neighbor’s dog barks? Sleep deprivation is interpreted by the subconscious as “stress” (something bad must be happening to keep you from getting a good night’s sleep) and therefore, vigilance is heightened. Endorphin receptors shut off (and pain intensifies). The appetite increases—better gorge on fattening foods in case famine is around the corner. Migraines occur more frequently when one is sleep deprived.
Dreams that occur during apneic spells tend to be influenced by the rising adrenaline levels that follow low oxygen. Adrenaline means stress, stress means panic. The dreaming mind goes back to a time when adrenaline levels were high during the day---maybe this is that danger all over again? Better relive those combat experiences in dreams. A refresher course. Get ready for the fight that must be coming, why else would the body be charging up like this…?
Experiencing particularly stressful events again in dreams or during flashbacks is an effective way to relearn the lesson “I must remain on guard!” Our vigilance increases. Our senses become even more acute. We notice everything. We dread going out for fear that something innocuous—a sound, a scent—may trigger the panic, the urge to fight or flee. We are afraid to sleep, because there is no rest in sleep, just more painful lessons. We are dream warriors. Nature has “blessed” us with the ability to rise to the challenge when we are faced with the unimaginable---and then, nature does its best to keep us ready to face the unimaginable in case it occurs again. Which, if you are a veteran now living at home may never happen. So, how do you turn the vigilance switch off? How do you take that Traumatic Stress Event out of your dreams and put it into the museum of the past where it belongs?
You do not have to be a member of the military of a veteran to be a dream warrior. Plenty of other people have heightened vigilance. Health care workers, firefighters, law enforcement, victims of childhood abuse, victims of sexual violence, survivors of war or natural disaster.
My first sleep apnea book, “Life After CPAP” was about my own experiences. I am currently working an a new sleep disorder book about a variant of sleep apnea---the sleep disorder associated with hyper-vigilance. Not everyone who stops breathing at night does so because he or she is overweight. Plenty of low body fat, healthy people have disturbed sleep, too. Theirs tends to be associated with PTSD, migraine with aura and a host of other disorders including fibromyalgia, irritable bowel, tachycardia. If you have an experience you would like to share, please post it here or send me an email at McCamyTaylor@earthklink.net. This is an area of sleep medicine that needs more attention. CPAP just does not work for most people with this type of sleep disorder—when you sleep lightly, the CPAP machine will only keep you awake.